I really have no idea why, when I am dead tired, I get this deep urge to write a blog post. I have actually been fighting the urge to write a post for a few weeks now. I didn't really want to air out how I have been feeling. I just hoped that if I ignored it for awhile it would quietly just go away and I could act like it everything was okay.
Well surprise.... surprise, it did not go away. It just kept building and building to the point that it kind of just overflowed.
I've kind of just abandoned Christ. I am moving further and further away and I am not really making any effort to find my way back. I go through the motions. I go to church and go to bible study when I can, but outside of that I make no other effort to get closer to Christ.
I have made no effort to open my bible and read it. I have made no effort to even pray. The thing that scares me the most is that, I am comfortable with this and I know that I shouldn't be.
I am more concerned with things that are not even remotely important. Like finding a job, not the fact that my relationship with Christ is almost non-existent.
The other day me and my mom got into a fight and she said something that really shook me. She said " Chelcie, you have changed, you aren't the same Christian you were when you came back from college." It shook me up pretty bad because my mom isn't even a Christian and for non-christian to tell me that made me really think.
The more I sat and thought about it, the more I realized how true it was. I'm not the same. I have taken 50 steps backwards and slowly but surely the old me is starting to coming back.
I realized I have no one to hold me accountable.The sad fact is I have really not made any effort to pray of seek anyone out to help me, to hold me accountable.
I know that I can't do this on my own but, I'm not really sure where to start.
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